Reply to Talking to parents of non-binary kids

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Talking to parents of non-binary kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kid uses "they" and a preferred name with friends/outside the house, but keeps their old name/pronoun with us.  I think it's to hold onto a familiar identity as they explore new identity outside.  We used the new name/pronoun for awhile but then shifted when relatives visited and then they didn't ask to go back to it.  So I think there's a whole range--not just keeping it secret from family.  [/quote]

I’m in the exact same situation and didn’t know it was a “thing.” Have offered several times to change which name and/or pronouns I use, but DC always says no and I don’t want to be pushy.

It does get a little awkward when talking to the families of friends, since we end up using different names and pronouns. It’s not THAT big of a deal — everyone knows what everyone means and it’s not confusing — so I’ve had to face up to the fact that mostly I don’t want other parents to assume that I’m “that parent” who refuses to adjust. But giving DC control over a difficult choice seems more important than worrying about my social reputation, so, shrug. [/quote]

It sounds like part of this may be peer pressure and wanting to fit in by adjusting pronouns since that’s the trend among this age group. I’m sure there are some legitimate cases but they are likely rare.  I don’t see any issue with kids wanting to explore identity or sexuality. I call my child by their gender at birth pronoun because I don’t follow trends. If it turned out to be permanent, I’d support them but right now they are too impulsive to practice good judgment so I don’t put much stock in it.  I do think they are gay and perhaps struggling with that so I try to be supportive in that respect.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics