Reply to Talking to parents of non-binary kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kid uses "they" and a preferred name with friends/outside the house, but keeps their old name/pronoun with us.  I think it's to hold onto a familiar identity as they explore new identity outside.  We used the new name/pronoun for awhile but then shifted when relatives visited and then they didn't ask to go back to it.  So I think there's a whole range--not just keeping it secret from family.  [/quote]

I’m in the exact same situation and didn’t know it was a “thing.” Have offered several times to change which name and/or pronouns I use, but DC always says no and I don’t want to be pushy.

It does get a little awkward when talking to the families of friends, since we end up using different names and pronouns. It’s not THAT big of a deal — everyone knows what everyone means and it’s not confusing — so I’ve had to face up to the fact that mostly I don’t want other parents to assume that I’m “that parent” who refuses to adjust. But giving DC control over a difficult choice seems more important than worrying about my social reputation, so, shrug. [/quote]

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