Reply to S/o Returning to Catholicism: St Thérèse and “The Little Way”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter’s teacher brought up St Thérèse earlier this year when DD was struggling to join a friend group.  She told her not to worry about making best friends right away, but to follow the little way and do small actions that would bring her closer to some of the other children in the classroom.

I was just thinking about that and looking at some of the posts on here about struggles with joining or staying in the Catholic Church that quickly went from regularly attending mass to having your children receive all sacraments to extensive study of/total agreement with the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

My own family’s return to the church was so much smaller than all of this.  We started with doing the sign of the cross and saying the “Bless us, Oh Lord...” prayer before dinner (when we remembered).

Anyone else have small ways of returning to the Catholic Church or just being closer to God?  I know that I feel lost in my own life sometimes and could use some help.[/quote] 
 I was baptized Catholic and went to Catholic school but was never confirmed because I always considered myself an atheist. However I'm now planning on getting confirmed and started going to Mass multiple times a week. I've always battled depression and the last few years I've been dealing with a midlife crisis of sorts that drained all the joy from my life. Everything felt so empty and futile. And I wasn't getting along with my DW, to the point where I thought divorce might be the only answer. I started drinking too much during COVID. I wasn't getting blasted drunk or anything, but I knew it was gradually dulling my feelings and ability to connect with my family. The world seemed so bleak. The worst part was the waking up in the middle of night with a total sense of existential loneliness.

Our oldest child started Catholic school this year and I help him with his religion homework. He's studying the New Testament so I would read the Gospels along with him. I mean I've read the Bible before but this time its words really started to move me. My take on the Bible until now was that its a mix of Hebrew Kings, trippy apocalyptic rants and some nice words from Jesus about the poor. But now I started to see both its subtle beauty and wisdom. I felt a tug at my heart. There is a church near my office and one day I thought "why not check out the mass." I've always felt a sense of power and sacredness from Catholicism that I never felt in any other religious setting.  I went almost everyday that week. The solemnity of the ritual, the sense of total surrender to something bigger than me and my ego. My brain stopped rushing and for once in my life I felt a total sense of focused meditation.

Over the next few days I started seeing my world in a whole new light. All the things that were making me sad melted away. They just didn't seem important anymore. I realized just how lucky I was to have such a loving wife and beautiful children. I found myself falling in love with her all over again. I even started seeing my job in a whole new light as well. I was feeling stuck and bored but I realized I was working in an important cause that's very much part of Catholic social teaching. All of a sudden I was taking everything I did more seriously. And when I woke up at night, I no longer felt scared. I had felt old and now I feel young.

No, God didn't speak to me through the clouds or anything, but I truly felt something transcendent. I knew I belonged in the Catholic church.

I'm still not sure how to talk about it with others. I don't want people to think I've become some kind of Jesus freak, but even with all the reservations and resistance from my head,  my heart has made it clear what I need to do. Anyways what I find very appealing about Catholicism is that it isn't just about the bye and bye. It's about promoting mindfulness, good works and the common good in the here and now and I feel more tuned in to my sense of self, my mind and my life than ever. It's about building the Kingdom of God both on Earth and in Heaven.

My wife isn't Catholic and she isn't sure she wants to convert, but she is very happy for me and my decision and even has gone to Mass with me. She told me that I seem so much happier and present so she supports my decision 100%. I'm still nervous as this is a such a  mental leap for me, but clearly it's where I belong. [/quote]

Pp, you say, "The solemnity of the ritual, the sense of total surrender to something bigger than me and my ego. My brain stopped rushing and for once in my life I felt a total sense of focused meditation."

It's very heartening that these elements, which are the great pull of Catholicism, have brought you a previously illusive peace. You say nothing about belief in God or any of the tenets of the Catholic church.  That's understandable, because they are not relevant to your sense of well-being.[/quote]

I think this sums up it pretty well for me on the God question: "And when I woke up at night, I no longer felt scared." 
[/quote]

+1. “Something bigger than me and my ego” sums it up pretty well too. Belief is implicit in that.[/quote]

It's hard to see the peace in the concept that religious belief offers eternal happiness if you can bring yourself to believe, and eternal suffering if you can't.  [/quote] I turned to Catholicism not b/c I was afraid to die but because I was tired of living. Some proclaimed Christians sell accepting Jesus as just an insurance policy in case you get hit by a bus tomorrow. That's not how I see it as all.  [/quote]

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