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[quote=Anonymous]I think women who had loving, supportive fathers get “luckier” in love because they think it’s normal and appropriate to be loved and respected by a man. Many women don’t get that and it makes it much harder for us. We might meet great men who love us, and that love can feel too intense or we are suspicious of it because it’s unfamiliar. We instead tend to be drawn to men who are like our fathers, which — pick your poison. I wound up with someone self-centered and emotionally unsupportive. Unsurprising.

But he is getting better with time, and while I wish I’d had this self knowledge a long time ago, I can still put it to good use now. He’s not quite as bad as my dad, plus parenting expectations and expectations on men are higher now, plus we have a good group of friends with good parenting role models for my DH. It’s not perfect, but my DH is significantly more loving and invested in our DD than my dad ever was in me. We talk about it a lot and I discuss how important it is for her to get lots of positive reinforcement from him snd to develop a trusting, loving relationship. So far so good. I’m nervous about the teen years but I view facilitating a healthy, positive relationship between them as one of the most important things I can do for my DD. I refuse to sentence her to spending her 20s and 30s believing she is not worthy of love and respect, as I did.[/quote]

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