Reply to Raising the Spirited Child

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Raising the Spirited Child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]13:54 here--I'm not sure the age of your dc, OP, but one thing that worked pretty well for us after age 4 or so was (1)inviting our child to help solve the problem and (2) letting many, many ultimately trivial things go. So..a tantrum brewing over say, wearing a coat. First offer a choice-this coat or that coat? child: no coat. You: Its pretty cold out (make an observation about the choice, no judging). child: no coat! you: so its cold and you don't want to wear a coat (summary), can you think of a solution to this problem? child: no coat! you: OK, you are going to choose to be cold? child: yes. So, child doesn't wear a coat, you bring the coat, and 1 block later the child asks for the coat. You hand it over without comment.

or with a child who never wants to wear a coat, you can brainstorm a solution together and come up with a mutually-agreeable plan. wait for a calm moment and then say, "hey, i've noticed that we've been having disagreements about coats in the morning. Let's come up with a solution for this problem." and see what the dc suggests. For instance, if the temperature reading at the time of leaving the house is 50 degrees or above, dc doesn't wear a coat. Etc. [/quote]

Good post, PP.  For us, routine, reasoning and warnings are the keys.  We used to refer to DD as Ms No No, because she objected to everything.  Now we follow a daily routine, and she knows what to expect, and I always provide good reasons for her.  "It is cold outside, wear your coat, or you will be sick!!", "If you don't brush your teeth, the germs in your mouth will eat your teeth and you will have toothache, besides it will be you that is in pain, not me!!"  And I always announce what is coming to prepare them mentally to avoid meltdowns, "When we get back into the house, take off your shoes and socks, wash your hand, and sit down at the table for dinner."  Foresee what will lead to tantrums and try to control the environment to prevent them from happening.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics