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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my world, a text like that could mean a few different things including but not limited to one or more of the following: A) She has BPD or some other disorder/mental illness and her perspective isn’t quite the same as you’d expect or hope. B) Your sister just gave her some sob story and she hopes that if you start being nice to your sister, she’ll be happier, then mom can be happier. C) Your mom is an alcoholic and threw her drunk rage at you. She wasn’t sober enough to realize she could delete it before she sent it. D) She’s scheming about some mommy fantasy that requires you two to get along. She wants you all together for Christmas or she’s planning a girls trip or something, and it’s more fun for her if you’re both happy (except you but you’re so much better at suffering in silence than your sister).

Regardless of why, she knew it was inappropriate or she wouldn't have asked you to delete it. My BPD mom knows not to put anything in writing. Be happy your mom isn’t a pro. [/quote]

This. However when I used to defend myself my mother would say I was trying to "triangulate" her into the conflict. I just stopped defending or explaining and she kept inserting herself and playing favorites and taking my sister's side. Besides friendships and dating relationships, my sister has had other family relationships go up in flames and mom always blames the other. They have a strange enmeshment with eachother, yet they don't even get along. It is what it is.[/quote]

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