Reply to Raising the Spirited Child

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[quote=Anonymous]13:54 here--I'm not sure the age of your dc, OP, but one thing that worked pretty well for us after age 4 or so was (1)inviting our child to help solve the problem and (2) letting many, many ultimately trivial things go. So..a tantrum brewing over say, wearing a coat. First offer a choice-this coat or that coat? child: no coat. You: Its pretty cold out (make an observation about the choice, no judging). child: no coat! you: so its cold and you don't want to wear a coat (summary), can you think of a solution to this problem? child: no coat! you: OK, you are going to choose to be cold? child: yes. So, child doesn't wear a coat, you bring the coat, and 1 block later the child asks for the coat. You hand it over without comment.

or with a child who never wants to wear a coat, you can brainstorm a solution together and come up with a mutually-agreeable plan. wait for a calm moment and then say, "hey, i've noticed that we've been having disagreements about coats in the morning. Let's come up with a solution for this problem." and see what the dc suggests. For instance, if the temperature reading at the time of leaving the house is 50 degrees or above, dc doesn't wear a coat. Etc. [/quote]

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