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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Husband and I have been married for 3 years (together for 5) and have two kids (toddler and newborn). His mother is a psychologist, but in spite of her training can be insensitive. Over thanksgiving she asked me if I called an estranged family member (who I have been estranged from for years -she knows this as I’ve been open about the toxicity of the relationship and pain the estrangement has caused) and told them I’d given birth. I responded that I still didn’t have a relationship with the person, so I hadn’t called them. I had low supply with my first child and felt horrible that I had to supplement with formula (I shared this with her at the time), but am trying to accept that I’ll have to combo feed my current newborn. Knowing how much I beat myself up about not being able to EBF my first I didn’t understand why my MIL asked me every time I gave my baby a bottle if it was breast milk or formula. It shouldn’t matter to her and it felt to me like she kept trying to highlight that I wasn’t EBFing. I’ve tried getting close with her over the years, but have found that she can be quite mean sometimes - and it feels pointed because she’s a psychologist and somewhere I think she probably knows what she’s doing. We’re going to be staying with her at Christmas and I’m dreading the barbs. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this sort of dynamic? I’ve been open with my husband about it, but his reaction is always to tell me she didn’t mean anything by it. [/quote]

I'll admit that this sounds to me like you are reading more into these comments than she means. I think you should be direct but kind that you find the comments hurtful, because she simply may not realize the impact they are having on you.

Asking about whether the milk is breastmilk or formula may be her way of trying to ask you how breastfeeding is going. [/quote]

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