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[quote=Anonymous]I found out two years ago a few months after my father died.  My older sister told me. Everyone in my immediate family but me knew 15-30 years ago that my father cheated for years on my mother.  Despite my mother's insistence to the contrary, he was not, in fact, working 100 hours a week all those years. Meanwhile, I've been in a depressive, withdrawn and anxious state since middle childhood--when the cheating began.  I'm furious that my parents shrugged and persisted with the narrative that they were happily married, he was a workaholic with a job that required lots of overnight travel and I am the ungrateful, withholding, glum and impossible to please daughter.

Meanwhile, my BIL was in the local news for sketchy, not quite illegal behavior with a minor that cost him his career and my ex-husband was a parasite who drove me into bankruptcy, all the while telling me how impossible I was to please.

My parents had to deal with the public humiliation of seeing their son-in-law in the news for months 
and they willingly paid for my divorce (I did not ask them to).  Sweet, poetic justice.

I'm remarried and we've created a stable, boring-in-a-good-way life for our two sweet kids who seem to be doing, feeling and relating well as they progress through elementary and middle school.  Im stunned at the contrast to my own upbringing and the impact of not meeting children's bare minimum social emotional needs for daily, loving contact. [/quote]

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