Reply to Another In-law saga - looking for advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll suggest that maybe instead of a phone call to thank them for the gifts they send, send them written thank yous and drawings *from your kids,* also plastered generously with all those stickers they got.  Include photos of the kids playing with the toys or wearing the clothes.

Then they may stop asking about the gifts because they’ll have the physical evidence in their own home. They can then bring up the lovely picture your DD sent them and how they liked it so much they put it up on the refrigerator so they can see it every day.

If it’s too much work for you, have your DH do it.  [/quote]

Nah, you will just reinforce the boundary violation if you do this. You asked them to tone down the gifts and they ignored it.It's rude to impose crap on people. They are trying to buy love and admiration. If they insist on being showered with more attention for material things remind them the gift is quality time not things. Then stay neutral. If you get angry about the gifts, they got a reaction. If you thank them 12 times and do written notes and drawings after you told them to tone it down you tell them it's OK to boundary stomp.

They are being emotionally immature and the gift thing is "love bombing" a classic narcissist tactic. Doesn't mean they are narcissist, just that they have some traits just like many people. That said, they should not see or hear about your time with your parents. It's cruel and hurts their feelings. Take the high road, be polite, but detached and keep your boundaries. Good luck![/quote]

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