Reply to Another In-law saga - looking for advice

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[quote=Anonymous]Ignore the comments as much as possible.  Right now you are falling over yourself to express how much everyone loves the crap.  Stop doing that.

Have your DH manage ALL steps related to gifts etc.  He needs to call and have the kids thank them, he can send thank you notes, he can do EVERYTHING related to that.  Don't remind him, don't nag, just tell him you are not doing it anymore.

Chance are he won't be thankful enough and they'll slow the pace of stuff without the positive feedback.

My MIL very much wants to buy my kid's love too.  It usually backfires because they feel SO much pressure that instead they sort of crumple and avoid stuff she gives them.  Ex: a cool trike she bought my 3 year old.  She put so much pressure on him to "ride it for grandma!" that he refused to even get on it.  She huffed about him being ungrateful under her breath (she knows better than to say that sh*t out loud with me around) and I didn't force him to ride it.  I let him go inside.  If I was close to her I'd just say "he's three years old" and walk away.

I only intervene when I think the pressure is too much for my kids.  If my kids don't like her because of the pressure, that's on her, not me.  As they've gotten older she has learned cool experiences are a good way to win them over AND get to spend time with them.  This is a huge win for everyone.  She gets the positive "grandma is cool" feedback she wants, I get an afternoon off from the kids and I get out of spending time with her, and the kids get to do something cool I don't wanna pay for.[/quote]

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