Reply to S/o How to get high conflict husband to go to therapy?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "S/o How to get high conflict husband to go to therapy?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're the boat wife?  I still can't figure out why you like him.

But just find a couples counselor, go to them, share the boat story, and get their suggestions on how to broach the subject based on their experience dealing with people like your husband. [/quote]
Boat wife here. I don’t really like him. I’m having trouble detaching. Having trouble telling him what I want. The boat + no sex + verbal abuse = me wanting out. I have no idea how to broach this topic with him so was thinking of bringing him to therapy, not to change him but so there’s someone else in the room who can make him give me the space to say what I need to say without talking over me. That I’m miserable and if things don’t change, I’m leaving. And I don’t want to spend years in therapy with him. I’m not 30 anymore. I don’t have that kind of time.[/quote]

honey, you have your lawyer tell him. you don’t need to tell him. [/quote]

[b]Honestly, my sense from all of this is that she doesn’t want to leave him. She wants him to acknowledge her. If she wanted to leave him she could just serve him the papers. Despite the myriad flaws and issues she has listed, she calls him her best friend. There is a lot of ambivalence here, and one thing she needs to work out is why she identifies with a victim position in the relationship. If she could disentangle herself from that a lot of options would be on the table — divorce, separation, allowing him to be unhappy when he doesn’t get what he wants and making her own life within the marriage, identifying whether she can have a voice in the relationship or she can’t, and so on. It sounds like she is stuck because she doesn’t see herself outside of this relationship.[/b][/quote]

Very insightful, PP.  I hope OP reads this and considers it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics