Reply to Am I raising a brat, and how do I fix this?

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Reply to "Am I raising a brat, and how do I fix this?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd be super honest with her. The adults in the household sit her down and say "You've become really spoiled and bratty. It's been kind of okay because you've been little and cute but you're growing up, and it's turning into b*tchiness. If you continue this way, people won't like you, you won't get jobs, you won't have friends, nobody will invite you to do anything, and on and on. So we are going to help you to become a better person. That's part of our job as your parents. Going forward, you are NOT the center of this household. You will get everything you need, and some of the things you want, sometimes. When you forget your manners, we will remind you once. If you refuse to say please or thank you, you will be sent to your room until you're ready to behave appropriately. Understand?"

And then be VERY consistent. Very, Very consistent.[/quote]

This is… awful. It’s laying the blame all on her, a 10yo child, when it’s been her parents who have raised her this way. So present the new world order a slightly different way:

“Especially since Covid, I think we’ve all been in our own little bubbles, doing our own thing and not really thinking about how our family can work as a team, and how one person’s behaviors affect the others. Dad and I want to get better at this, and we need your help. This winter, we’re all going to practice being flexible and helpful. Sometimes that will mean that we will find a way to lend you a hand — picking you up from school so you don’t have to walk, asking for suggestions for dinner. But sometimes it will mean that we need you to help us — running errands, or putting your laundry away. It’s nice when everyone feels appreciated.”

As an aside, get into the habit of talking about what you did while she was in school or at her activity. Kids just assume we parents stay in suspended animation until they send up the Bat Signal. If she gets the picture that you have a plan for your day just like she has a plan for hers, it will help develop a little more empathy and reduce the narcissism. [/quote]

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