Reply to why am I so angry? Tell me I need to get over myself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I'm surprised by how I feel. I've always been fairly laid back. This has been boiling up for a while, though. We used to live 14 hours aways from them when we lived in DC. Now we live 4 hours away. We're about 4 hours away in all directions from much our family now. My dad was very happy about the move.

If I think about what my expectations would be, they would fall along the lines of visits about 3-4 times a year. Maybe for significant events, a holiday or two or to see a kid in a play, for example. So far this year, we've seen them once. My MIL, who has 11 grandkids and lives the same distance away, has visited with us three times and we'll see her over the holidays too. No, it's not a contest but I can't help but see the difference.

My dad's parents did not go out of my way to see me either. My dad is acting exactly like them. It's a revelation to me. [/quote]

Sorry we had a similar dynamic. My MIL visited us regularly and still pays great attention to their lives even though one is an adult. My parents visited us once in &gt;20 years and have always expected us to go to them, like they did with their parents. My parents show little interest except in big flashy milestone events and then not enough to visit.

I am trying to be the parent to my dc that I wish they had been to me. That is all we can do - try to break negative family cycles. We go to DC and spouse and will help with child care if they want it. If not, that will be fine as well. I let them know continually they are loved and valued.

I had tons of therapy to grieve not having the parents I needed.

Sorry OP, it is a big loss to come to terms with. [/quote]

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