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[quote=Anonymous]Just be aware that you will be raising two only children if you have another one now. If you can’t let go because of the only child issue, you need to talk to a therapist about whether having a second with such a big age gap would even “fix” the problem you’re trying to solve.

That said, I get it, I really do. We did so much IVF and had so many miscarriages trying to have a second. Never did. It was the hardest thing I ever went through, including the death of a parent and serious illness, and I don’t think I’ll ever get back to the person I was “before.” But I really question whether going forward with donor now would bring you the resolution you need. It probably won’t be what you imagine and could be unsuccessful or disappointing in other ways. Relatedly, what  does your 10 year old think about being an only? I shifted my thinking from what I wanted to what would be best for my only, and realized she’s happy and loves her family and life. So I stopped projecting my trauma on her life and focused on meeting her where she was.

All of that to say, donor embryos are the way to go. Quick and easy if you can do double donor embryos or get lucky matching with a donor family. Good luck in whatever you decide. All of this is just plain hard and unfair.[/quote]

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