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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're in the wedding party, there's your answer.[/quote]

So if OP’s cousin invited her to her wedding, and OP marked it on her calendar, and the BFF invited her to be in the wedding party a month later? In what universe would that be OK. No one is “declared into” a wedding party. They are *asked* to be in a wedding party, not informed that they are in a wedding party.[/quote]

Receiving a save the date (or even marking it on your calendar) doesn’t equal rsvping. Typically people send out save the dates long before an actual invite, whereas the actual rsvp is typically requested a few weeks out, not months in advance. Its not like the first person to send out a placeholder wins. It seems unlikely that op would be asked to be in the wedding party of her friend after she has already actually officially rsvped and committed to attend her cousin’s wedding, so yes in most cases being a member of the wedding party for a close friend would trump being a passive participant at a cousin’s regardless of whose date was set first.[/quote]

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