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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) OP was the victim here 
2) OP likes being a victim and the leverage that, she thinks, comes with it
3) Move on[/quote]

I disagree on #2 because OP is saying she hates the dynamic and would like it to go away, plus she clearly has no leverage since the one thing she has asked for (an apology) has not happened despite several years passing. I think it's more like OP is stuck in the situation and is not being forced to choose between letting go of something that, honestly, the other person could have resolved a long time ago with a lot less fanfare, or hold her ground and piss everyone off. That sucks and it doesn't sound like a position OP is relishing.

Having been in a similar situation, I found that the other person really dug in and got very nasty the longer it went on. Not merely calling me sensitive but also saying much worse things about me and starting untrue rumors about me to discredit me so that people were less inclined to blame them for refusing to apologize. I didn't enjoy anything about the situation but also felt that at that point I really could not forgive because I'm not a doormat and they'd really taken it quite far. I tried to gray rock but it wasn't enough and this wasn't a relative so I just went the exorcism route -- cut off all contact with that person and also cut out all people who put me in contact with that person. It was drastic but it was honestly the only way to fully remove that toxicity from my life.

I'm sure some of those folks are still talking about what a "drama queen" I am and I am fine with that, as long as they do so far away from me. With some people you can't win for losing.[/quote]

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