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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes to listening, trying to understand, and giving empathy. As the black sheep of my family, I can say that is is incredibly painful and sometimes heartbreaking to realize that your parents don't accept who you are and will only give you love if you comply with their narrow views on how life should be lead.

No to giving advice - not your roles, and she probably doesn't feel safe enough with you to accept it.

Also, consider that you might be enmeshed with your parents and even may be enabling their negative behavior towards your sister. You don't sound very accepting of her.[/quote]

I am the OP. Thanks for this perspective. I do not care for her parenting style but I accept her right to parent her child the way she wants. As an older sister and a mom who had similar anxieties with my first born, I bite my tongue 99% of the time.

I don’t believe I enable negative behavior. I have asked them to be more forthright about their comfort level and requirements for babysitting. But it’s a touchy subject because they don’t think it will be received well by sister and BIL and will create more problems.[/quote]

Have you told them what you've said here?  That your sister feels unloved by them?  I feel like that would push your parents to have a discussion with her at least.[/quote]

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