Reply to How did you know it was time to "break up" with your best friend?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How did you know it was time to "break up" with your best friend?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Never had a true best friend but I've had a couple painful break ups with close friends. Both breakups were semi-related -- I went through a really tumultuous few years in my mid-30s and I think it really tested a few friendships that were used to me being extremely drama free. I wouldn't say I decided I needed to break up with them, but in retrospect it was really obvious that these were things that had been building for a long time.

One of the breakups was just because my friend loved to gossip and I hated it. I didn't like listening to her gossip about others, I didn't gossip with her, and I knew she gossiped about me sometimes and I hated it. It's just who she is. I couldn't take it so I cut things off. The precipitating event was that I suspected she'd shared something pretty personal about me with people I really, really did not want to know. I confronted her and she denied it but in a weird way, claiming that she couldn't have done it because she hadn't spoken to the people in question "in years." I knew that was a lie, and that she'd spent time with these people recently. I still don't know if she actually was the one to tell them this thing about me, but the fact that she responded with something I knew was a lie was just this huge red flag. I tried to talk it through with her but she was crazy defensive and I realized I couldn't trust her and that I couldn't share other personal things with her. That pretty much killed it.

The other one was more complicated. I don't know how to summarize it. But it winds up amounting to the same thing, which is that when you find you can't trust a friend enough to tell them important or personal things about your life, there's just not much left. This only applies to someone I consider a close friend -- I obviously have lighter, less close friendships with people I just like hanging out with because they are fun or funny or share an interest with me. But once I open up to someone, a serious breach of trust is harder to repair. You are vulnerable with a close friend, and I've found that once I feel used or betrayed by someone I've been vulnerable with, I just don't want to be around them anymore.

It sucks.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics