Reply to For Women Who Are The Second Wife To A Widower I need Your Advice

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "For Women Who Are The Second Wife To A Widower I need Your Advice"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP. I have no advice but I also want to chime in and say that you sound like a lovely person. I wish you the best of luck, and please update us when the relationship progresses. [/quote]

Everyone needs to stop encouraging OP’s savior complex here. This is NOT about OP doing some sort of good deed. It’s about whether she can actually be happy in this situation and whether she is equipped to give these kids a stable and healthy home. It’s no fairy tale …. because we all know how fairy tales about marrying widowers with kids end up, right? There’s a reason why the trope of the Evil Stepmother exists. It’s because it’s really f’in hard and complicated to marry a man with young kids after their mother dies. Especially if you also plan to have your own baby AMA with all the complications that entails.

Raising four young kids is no joke, and OP doesn’t even have any idea what it will be like - how much work, how much her life will change. She has spent zero time doing the actual labor of parenting, just the cute stuff like Halloween. She hasn’t had any discussion about how the work of dividing the household labor will go.

Marrying into this kind of situation without really understanding it is a recipe for disaster.

Oh, and OF COURSE the in-laws will be as sweet as pie to OP. That’s because they know OP is being drafted into doing the labor to care for the kids/house. They all want the dad to have “more help” and the kids to have a “new mom.”

Any woman who signs up for this enormous baggage laden role — after only a year of dating! — needs to reflect very seriously about why. Why are you attracted to a situation where your role will be so predicated on how much you will rescue/help/save the family? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics