Reply to DS14 arranging his own social life - how much do I need to be involved?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids did their own socializing too, except, I make it a point to know the parents and have everyone's contact info.  I also invite parents to our home to get to know them for drinks or tea etc.

We have a large friends network and we socialize a lot. My kids have grown up knowing how to host parties, make plans and be inclusive. This is very cultural for us.

So, in short, great that kids are socializing. However, you need to know who they are hanging out with and they need to know what is unacceptable. [/quote]

No.

I’m happy to exchange info and be in friendly contact related to my kids but I don’t need to get to know you just because our teenage kids hang out.  Too much.  I have friends and my time is limited and valuable.  No drinks or tea.[/quote]

You have friends and your time is limited and valuable.  Why on earth did you have kids? That's really sad.  You probably have no clue how  your kids behave, but the rest of us do.[/quote]

It is not required to socialize with parents of your children’s friends to know how your children behave.  [/quote]

I have middle schoolers and the behavior of some of the friends is shocking on discord and other places.  These are nice kids when they are with me but its not surprising as I see how they behave toward their parents and at other times.[/quote]

Okay.  What does that have to do with socializing with the parents exactly?

I know where my kids are at all times and have open dialogues with them about everything.  I have their phones locked down.  I have a middle school kid and they're not on discord.  I wouldn't let my middle school kid be on discord or social media.  Why would you?  I randomly review texts and photos at any time and my kids know it.  I also regularly get unsolicited compliments from people about what good manners my kids have.

And by the way, I'm perfectly friendly to any and all.  Happy to coordinate, happy to chat at a pick up or drop off.   I just don't need to "get to know" or have drinks/tea with every parent of every kid my kids interact with.

There are other ways of parenting kids than what you seem to think is required.[/quote]

No one is saying you need to socialize with parents but at least chat with them for a few minutes at pick up/drop off and engage.

My kids are on discord as that is how they socialize. They don't have any other social media.  But, watching them chat on discord is no different than your kids texting.  And, you kids are probably doing more than you think.  I would never say anything to another parent about their child's behavior and say everything is fine as I know those parents don't care so don't kid yourself to think your child's behavior is perfect.  None are.[/quote]

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