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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS didn't make the HS soccer team this summer. He was devastated and it was the first time I'd seen him cry in a long time. We let him experience his sadness. Acknowledged his disappointment. After a few days, we asked how he thought he could improve and what he would like to do to increase his skill (if he was interested.) We were willing to look into trainings/clinics/etc. In the end, he decided not to pursue the team again next year and just be content playing on a recreational team where he gets a lot of play time.[/quote]

Poor guy.  I found my kids handled really well when they could acknowledge and accept the talent was high and the kids on the team deserved it.  Yes.  That happened.  They were on a second team and could rightly say at the time--that kids above deserved it--or were equivalent in skill, etc.

The hardest, as it is for everyone, is when other things are in play.  At our HS there is a LOT of nepotism.  We have 4 sets of twins, two on each team.  When the older sibling is a star, the younger siblings are granted a spot even when they are not good--at all.  A lot of it has to do with the way the parents of those kids sidle up to the Coach, the existing relationships.  It generally isn't a problem unless your kid plays the same position.  Then, just forget it.

We deal with that with: life isn't fair.  What else do you want to do? Play Club soccer, try a new sport, etc. But, yeah it's hard to see our kids get upset--but ultimately it will build resilience for what will come in life later on.[/quote]

My son had this happen.  He actually made the team, but got little playing time no matter how much he excelled--scoring when he did go in, being one of the few that ALWAYS showed up at practice on time and didn't goof around, etc.  He sees the writing on the wall for next year's chances.  His plan is to spend the next 10 months getting bigger, better, faster, meaner:), etc. I have told him the only way to avoid getting cut for varsity is to go into tryouts and win everything.  2 mile run--apparently coming in 3rd out of everyone obviously isn't enough--you need to come in first.  Juggling competition--won that---now lets juggle on our head (we can already do around the world, double around the world, etc).  Scrimmages--you can score 10 goals in an 11-1 game and have the assist on the 11th---score 40 goals, etc...  The only thing you can do is make an undisputable case for yourself....and, you know, what: you still might not make it because that is how the world works.  BUT--you will know you did everything in your power and left nothing to chance.

The really strange thing is that he's had a few D1 coaches talking to him and yet HS team may be unattainable. :lol:   HS sports are a really weird thing.  I've seen top players in the area not make their HS team and kids that barely play make it.  
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