Reply to Realized my SIL in "grey rocking" me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you were visiting a neighbor’s house and the cat ran under the couch and tried to scratch your kid every time he got down on the ground to try to pet it, wouldn’t you tell your kid to leave the cat alone and go find someone else to play with or something else to do?

My goodness. She’s not interested. Do you also go to an empty well with a bucket every day, expecting to get some water? Get a life.[/quote]
This is unnecessarily harsh, although there's some truth here in the basic observation about an anti-social cat. OP, obviously you know your SIL best but it's possible she really is just shy or introverted (or both) and doesn't have a lot of mental space in her life to engage with you. I'm a shy introvert myself and it takes a lot out of me to interact with people, as much as I keep giving it the old college try. My MIL and SIL are very outgoing and wonderful people, and I genuinely like them a lot. But I'm also often overwhelmed by so many text messages, long emails, long extended conversations in person when we visit (they live pretty far away so we don't see them much in person). I do worry about coming across as cold to them and try not to, but I could certainly understand if they thought I was cold or disengaged. Our desires and abilities to engage socially are just at widely disparate levels. I guess my point is, it is entirely likely this has nothing to do with you and who you are at all, but who your SIL is, and that she's not necessarily a cold or nasty person intrinsically either.[/quote]

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