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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in a bunch: 
# 1 female cousins and sisters of my DH (plus assorted best friends of cousins and sisters who are like family) but does not include DH. 
# 2 all siblings including DH and cousins plus me (I'm the only married in female and the girls like me, the rest of marrieds in are male) 
# 3 Just siblings and MIL

I'm not in #4 that is just MIL and spouse and siblings.

This is all OK! I don't need to hear them chat about the fact the ran into marge from up the road at the Giant and little suzie got into harvard (#4)

I do care that:

Unmarried cousin had a great first date (#1) 
We're all going to go to a bar before Thanksgiving dinner (#2) 
I'm supposed to bring potatoes for dinner (#3)

[/quote]

Why aren't you in #4? Did you ever ask to be?[/quote]

I don't care. Honestly. I'm in the one where i get assignments and I'm not in the one where they try to remember who was left in the Kmart in 1978. Was it sister 1 or sister 2? [/quote]

EXACTLY THIS.  There should be nuclear-family group chats for conversation that is completely irrelevant for spouses.  Spouse doesn't need to know that my mom ran into my sister's best friend from 30 years ago.  Or need to hear an update about a neighbor across the street from my mom that they've never met.

It isn't exclusive to have nuclear-family only group-texts.  It's just tailoring the conversation to those who care.

Now if OP is excluding DIL from texts about Thanksgiving - then I side with her DIL. 
[/quote]

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