Reply to For those who have 3 or 4 children and two parents who work outside of the home

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[quote=Anonymous]We have 3 young kids, with youngest nearly 4.

When they are young, it’s really the physical grind that’s challenging, combined with the need to be able to stay calm even when everyone is crying. We are over that hump now and it feels a lot easier. I actually think when the youngest turned 18 months it started slowly getting easier.

I work FT my DH works a lot, so while he isn’t here to help much his salary provides $$ to outsource some stuff, which is helpful. We did/do daycare/preschool/ after care for the kids which was easier for me than managing a nanny (we had one) and we felt was better for the kids. From when the youngest was about 12 months until 30 months, I had evening help — the problem is not “caring” for the kids, it’s that the oldest needs help with homework and the baby still needs close supervision. If your DH is involved you may not need that help.

A couple other things - I am super organized and we have systems/routines for most things, so the kids can do a lot independently. It also means I have been on them since they were babies to put things away, pick up, toys stay in the play room, etc., which seems to all click when they turn about 4.

The last is that my kids are not hugely into team sports, and I don’t push it (I also don’t discourage it - they have all tried soccer and my oldest has tried basketball), and I do encourage activities where we can do individual lessons. So my kids each do three activities each week which are private lessons. I’ve stopped feeling guilty that my kids do less than families with only children (or even 2 kids) — three activities is plenty (plus the very occasional ones we pick up).[/quote]

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