Reply to Why is a 2yr old so much harder than a 1yo?

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[quote=Anonymous]I also found 3 the hardest. Some of the challenging behaviors of my 3 yr old started to emerge when she was 2, but things got very real at 3. But 4 has been much better! I think all kids this age have to go through some growing pains and when it comes just depends on the kid and also, to some extent, on the parent and what your vulnerable spots are (you've got them!).

But to answer your question, OP, a 2yr old is harder than a 1yo in some universal ways. Here are some:

- Less portable. They weigh more and are better at moving around, so it's harder to strap them into a carrier or stroller or carseat and expect them to be content for any length of time. My two year old always wanted out of her stroller. And while she was a better walker/runner at 2 than at 1, she was still super slow and distractable. It just makes going out with them more challenging and time consuming.

- More opinionated. This was one that REALLY kicked in at 3 but it started at 2 for us. You just start seeing more refusal at this age. I don't want to wear that, I don't like this food, this place is boring, etc. Most 1 year olds will do whatever. They are fascinated by basic things and generally still totally in love with their parents/caregivers to a degree that allows them to just accept almost anything. Two year olds are more independent and therefore more prone to conflict. And again, this is something that can be impacted by YOUR personality. My DH has struggled much more with this aspect of parenting than I have because he is a more rigid person than I am. So when our child started asserting herself more, that was much tougher for him and has required a lot more growth and adaptation. Whereas I'm naturally conciliatory, compromising (but that means I sometimes struggle with boundary setting). See how it starts to get complicated?

- Need more stimulation. It just takes more work to entertain a 2 year old, which is also why I think this is the age that is toughest for parents regarding sticking to a "no screentime" rule if they had been before that point. We were still very limited about it, but yes, we started allowing limited screen time at this age because sometimes you just really need 20-30 minutes to do something without being asked for a snack, told your conversation is boring, asked to come play, etc.

- Potty training. Potty training. Potty training. Apparently this is easy for some folks but not us, and I know we aren't alone.

But it's also easier in some other ways. You can talk to your kid. They can do some things on their own (potty training sucks but having a fully potty trained kid is GREAT). Their personalities really start to develop and as a parent that's amazing to experience. They learn so much stuff and will amaze you with new knowledge and skills all the time. But that's parenting -- it gets harder and easier all the time, at every age. The problems morph and get tougher, but the rewards deepen and get richer.[/quote]

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