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[quote=Anonymous]So I am in the end stage of this and can look back.  We have 4 who are all teens/YA now with no family in the area in fact both of our parents have been dead since just before our second was born so no grandparents even.

We moved from nanny to au pair when we had 4th.  Our nanny was older and not a driver.  My oldest was 4 when the last one came and in PreK so needed pickup.  If you go with au pair get them driving lessons!!

We live where things are walkable.  Means our house was smaller but made life a lot easier.

3rd child turns out to be in sport which required a lot of travel and high competitive level (on track for D1 play in college).  Others have always been in sports but have always limited them to one activity at a time.

I decided early on Sunday dinner was our family time.  No one can schedule over it, friends are welcome and everyone will be fed.  Weekday dinners are on the fly a lot.

Weekly house cleaner.  Yes luxury but I would have lost my mind without that.  Also go to have married at type A personality.  My DH hates clutter so we don't accumulate a lot and everything has a place.

Teen years are by far the hardest years -- gird your loins.  Kids going all over the place, peer pressure, friend drama, homework, school actually mattering, etc.  I have decided that I really like teens though.  Fun but exhausting on all levels.

We have two in college now and two in high school so the house is a lot quieter but no less hectic.  Next year three will be in college (why we have always both worked) and I think it may be quieter then?  Who knows.

The biggest thing I try to counsel the younger moms on is that you can't put a price on flexibility with your job.  It is ok to be on the mommy track when the kids are younger if the trade off is being able to run and get a sick kid from school or going on a field trip.  You can always ramp it back up as the kids get older.

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