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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Whatever you do, don’t assume you can just have the 3-4 kids do the same sports to make it easier. [/b] First of all, kids aren’t like that - they have their own individual strengths and interests.  Second, with various ages, it doesn’t help you much anyway - games and practices and tournaments will all be at different times anyway.  At most you are helped by passing down cleats or equipment - aka it doesn’t help you much.[/quote]

+1 So true!  I had (misguided) visions about my oldest 2 on the same teams, (just a year apart).   Nope.  They are so different.  Which is great - if a little harder transportationally.[/quote]

+10000. I have 3, ages 4, 7 and 9, and the 7 and 9 year old are 18 months apart. Even if they could be on the same teams (which is sometimes possible), I actually don't want them to be because one will outshine the other, and it can cause issues. Plus, it is important, as they get older, that they have things of their own, which being on different teams, even in the same sport, allows them to do.

And the 4 year old - he won't be doing anything extracurricular for forever, basically. Too many balls to juggle. We pass on lots of things now - parties and such - because we are already so busy with extracurriculars (and the kids aren't even doing that many!). I want family time, and social stuff is the first to get knocked down the priority list when I have to choose.

Three is wonderful. I wouldn't change it. But it is a lot more than 2, and it is definitely getting harder, not easier, as they age. We both work full-time and have never had a nanny.[/quote]

DP, but this is where you need to be realistic about whether you're a parent who can say no to extracurriculars.  If you think your kids need to Do All the Things, having 3+ kids with two working parents is going to be very, very hard.  It's not fair to deny one kid (usually the youngest) any activities because you either can't plan or can't say no.  Totally fine to prefer more activities and fewer kids, but it's best to account for that early and to be honest with yourself.[/quote]

I am pretty sure the four year old will grow up fine without “extracurriculars” at that age.   But this is spot on: I knew that having a third meant public school, the kids won’t see Europe until college, and will have fewer extracurricular activities.   I thought more kids and fewer activities was better, but it’s no use pretending there isn’t a trade off. [/quote]

I'm the PP with the 4 year old without extracurriculars, and yes, he is doing fine without them. But, of course, he will soon have them, as he indicates interest, and we'll have to add it to the mix. I think having 3 makes you realize what is useful and impactful to a person, and 3 made me realize that preschoolers don't need activities. He is 100% happy playing in the dirt at his brothers' baseball games. But yes, if you are someone who thinks everyone should be doing All The Things, you either should not have 3, or you will need an extra driver, or a lot more help at home. 3 kids = tradeoffs, much more so than 2 or 1 kid.[/quote]

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