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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have articulated to your future husband why this is important and he is dismissive, then i would see that as a big red flag. And I say that as a woman who didn’t want a ring, my future husband insisted and so it sits in a drawer. It isn’t about the ring. It is about whether he takes into account what is important to you.

I’m also assuming you are not insisting on something insanely out of his budget.[/quote]

Right now he has a very limited budget. But in a year or two it will be a drop in the buckle for him. I haven’t insisted on any specific ring. I just know that if he puts it on a card, or borrows for it, which he has done for other things he wanted, he will have no problem paying it off in a couple of years when his salary increases majorly. I am not in general a spendthrift and don’t use credit card debt myself ever. But in his position I absolutely would for something important that I knew would be easily repaid down the road. People take out mortgages. This to me is like that, a cornerstone (more bad puns) of the joint relationship. The debt would become joint anyway. I’m not looking for a 5 carat ring or anything.[/quote]

I wouldn't count on him suddenly making a ton of money. Things change, and you don't want to have that debt if life takes a different turn.

I know many people who got a small, inexpensive ring that they could upgrade later on. I think that would be a better compromise.

Now, if the issue is he refuses to buy you a $1k ring, but meanwhile he's spending $5k on vacations or upgrades to his car or a giant TV, that's a problem and show he values his wants over yours, plus shows bad financial judgement. He shouldn't be betting on suddenly making a ton of money in 2 years, either. [/quote]

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