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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a recent retiree I would like to gently suggest that if your parents move a long expensive difficult ways away from you maybe that's a hint that they don't particularly want to hang out with you too often.  I'm sure there are other factors involved but it's something to think about.[/quote]

Possibly but you would be surprised by how irrational (and selfish!) people can be.

My parents live in a remote, hard to access location. They also have these fantasy (IMO) ideas about what their lives will look like, including spending Avery holiday with all their kids and grandkids around them in their home. They get aggrieved when we don’t come for holidays or when we go too long between visits, according to their schedule. They don’t seem to consider that we have to balance things like days off from school or work (their location requires more travel time, and thus longer visits for something like Thanksgiving), cost, and desire to spend that time and money on other kinds of trips. They get upset when we can’t visit or choose not to fit these reasons, and attempt to guilt me. They will offer to pay but don’t understand it’s not just about money.

They also have unreasonable expectations when they visit us. For instance, they are visiting us the week before Thanksgiving this year (because they are attending a wedding nearby), and have asked that I keep the kids out of school the days they are in town so they can spend time with them. I’ve explained that I’m really reluctant to do this at this time, since it’s right before days off for thanksgiving and also so close to end of term. Plus they only get so many excused absences a year and I don’t think this is a good way to use them. But my mom cried when I told her this. Keep in mind they can still see them in the afternoons and evenings, and it was their choice to visit midweek.

Sometimes people are just selfish and expect others to move mountains to give them what they want.[/quote]

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