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[quote=Anonymous]I agree that ignoring kids as they get older isn’t such a bad thing. All this intense parenting leads to a whole low of incompetent, anxious kids. Once kids are 4, they can usually fix their own snack of some kind and find the TV show they like. I say this as a parent of a child that will cognitively be a baby forever. People don’t give their kids nearly enough credit. If there is ever some miracle drug that would make my kid a four year old cognitively, she would be able to live in a supervised situation but would not need 24-7 care. Let’s pretend my neurotypical 9 year old got stuck cognitively at this age. She would literally be able to live entirely on her own, make her own meals, use public transportation and get a job (at a grocery store, answering phones, etc) once she was 18. She would likely have some sort of limited financial supervision. Kids can figure a whole lot out on their own.

That said, I still get the pain of being the parent they come to first on the stuff they know we won’t both ignore. My nine year old does this for certain things — like homework help. My best strategy is to really divide up roles and responsibilities. Like, I have NOTHING to do with piano lessons unless my husband explicitly asks me to help in some way. I have NOTHING to do with basketball or bike riding, etc.[/quote]

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