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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think it matters that much.  I think whether they play together or get along will depend much more on their personalities than on age gap.

I had a 3.5 age gap (I was aiming for 2.5 but two miscarriages killed that plan).  I didn't think they would play together but they did, quite a bit.  When they did not, I attribute mostly to them being different genders and having very different interests.  They get along great and almost never fight -- but again, just luck of the draw and not much to do with spacing.

For you, I think 3 will be easier in the beginning because your older will be a little more independent.  But later on life, 2 may be easier because there will more years they will be in the same school and they will generally be i the same stage of childhood at the same time. [/quote]

OP here. I shoulda have been more specific. I’m not asking in the sense that they get along and play together. I’m asking if they think a 2 or 3 year age gap is easier? Some have said a 2 year gap is easier because oldest is still young and you can get through all the baby phases quicker, and others have said it’s hard because you oldest isn’t super independent and it’s hard to care for both of them. Some have said the 3 year age gap is good because oldest child is older and more aware and independent, and others have said the child being older means more rejection for baby and it can make for a tougher transition. [/quote]

But whether they play together is part of the answer.  My kids are almost exactly 2 years apart.  While it may initially have been easier if my older kid had been 3 before we had his sibling (and I have my doubts about that- [b]I think you may be overestimating the "independence" of a 3 year old), [/b]it makes my life a lot easier when my kids can entertain each other.  As someone else noted, the period of time when I had a 2 year old and newborn was way shorter than the years my kids were 4-9 (they are now 9 and 7).[/quote]

I have kids with a 3 year age gap (4 and 7 now). To help OP, when people talk about the increased “independence” of a 3 year old vs a 2 year old, it’s not like the 3 year old is making dinner by herself. But for me, it was really critical that my older child could do things like climb into her car seat by herself without me lifting her, go potty on her own so I didn’t have to change two sets of diapers, be able to pay attention to a movie or TV show for a bit if I needed her to be quiet while I put the baby down, and the ability to play or draw for 15-20 minutes by herself. With these things, a 3 year gap was much easier in the first year than a 2 year gap would have been. Now that they’re older, I can see that some things would be easier if they were closer in ages/stages. They do play together well, but it would be nice to have more time when they are in the same elementary school, etc. [/quote]

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