Reply to Moving mom into assisted living guilt!

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Moving mom into assisted living guilt!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Passage of time Op. After a few months my parents forgot any of their objections. You would have thought moving there was their idea. Just act like this is perfectly natural that she would live in her new place. Don't define it. Do not talk about anywhere else. You want time to pass. When she talks about going back home listen some, change the subject. Stall, and stall some more re "going home". Say it's safer for her to stay in assisted living "through the winter". For example.

[/quote]

You’re the best. Thank you for your words of wisdom. Also my once perfectly dressed mom with hair and makeup now looks like a homeless woman.  Her hygiene has also dropped significantly as well. I even had a wam water bidet attached to her toilet because she has a difficult time cleaning. Fyi when she was home for the week after her stroke she would put a large container of water next to her toilet. So she did  want to clean herself properly.  Now the convenient bidet goes unused and a lot of times she smells bad. I had a talk with nursing and told them she gets mandatory showers every other day. Yesterday I said mom you smell bad and she said what do I smell like.  I just responded please let me help you take a shower and she said ok.  She won’t brush her hair or put a drop of makeup on and I removed a black nightgown she was wearing down to the dining room.  I look around at other residents and they all look nice and make an effort.  She says why do I need to look nice in this place? I told her when you were home you worked in an office by yourself and maybe went to grocery store, had zero social life yet,  you still showered and looked put together daily. [quote=Anonymous]Passage of time Op. After a few months my parents forgot any of their objections. You would have thought moving there was their idea. Just act like this is perfectly natural that she would live in her new place. Don't define it. Do not talk about anywhere else. You want time to pass. When she talks about going back home listen some, change the subject. Stall, and stall some more re "going home". Say it's safer for her to stay in assisted living "through the winter". For example.

[/quote]

You’re the best. Thank you for your words of wisdom. Also, my once perfectly dressed mom with hair and makeup now looks like a homeless woman.  Her hygiene has dropped significantly as well. I even had a warm water bidet attached to her toilet because she has a difficult time cleaning. Fyi when she was home for the week after her stroke she would put a large container of water next to her toilet. So she did want to clean herself properly.  Now the convenient bidet goes unused and a lot of times she smells bad. I talked with nursing and told them she gets mandatory showers every other day. Yesterday I said mom you smell bad and she said what do I smell like.  I just responded please let me help you take a shower and she said ok.  She won’t brush her hair and has bed head or put a drop of makeup on and I removed a black nightgown she was wearing down to the dining room.  I look around at other residents and they all look nice and make an effort.  She tells me why do I need to look nice in this place? I told her when you were home she worked in an office by herself and maybe went to the grocery store, had zero social life yet you still showered and looked nice daily.  I know 100% if I took her back home she would return to her normal hygiene and beauty routine.

Should I have management talk to her?  I’m sure they know how to gently tell her she needs to look presentable and have good hygiene in their facility.  She is just being defiant.  
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics