Reply to How to de-escalate an argument with someone who refuses to and doesn't care about the consequences

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Reply to "How to de-escalate an argument with someone who refuses to and doesn't care about the consequences"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Walking away is thrown back as "refusing to engage" - even if the walking away is after a several minute diatribe against me.

Suggesting spouse go take a walk until they are less angry escalates confrontation - "Don't you EVER tell me to get out of my house, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!" at the top of voice.

The kids are traumatized and have been for years. He doesn't care at all and my attempts to say I won't have screaming matches in front of them is futile. I should have left YEARS ago and I know it. If I attempt it now it will be a scorched earth battle for sure.

He travels a lot for work and doesn't really give a crap about actually interacting with the kids so in general, avoidance has been the key.

Any tips other than preparing for divorce?

[/quote]

Court ordered psych exam or neuropsych— dollars to donuts he’s in the spectrum. And thus will never change or get better or normal.[/quote]

Not OP, but even if he is on the spectrum... can you really get a diagnosis if he's totally not cooperative and denies it?  I mean, you can diagnose oppositional behavior in a kid or even teen via surveys from their teachers, but an adult?  How do you survey behavior from objective sources?  [b]How would this even work for someone who is high functioning, intelligent, manipulative, etc?[/quote][/b]

This is half of all high conflict divorces of the 15-20% that actually cannot settle and have to go to court. The other half is chronic mental disorders.  Lots of overlap between the two as well.  [/quote]

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