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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.
Thank you all for your comments (and for reading my vent).

Sometimes I think it’s a socioeconomic thing, too. My colleagues who worked their way up from less money have parents who are so so proud that they are doctors. Therefore, their parents don’t mess with them. Other female colleagues have mothers who had demanding jobs, and are understanding. I’m in a weird netherworld where we were UMC and my mom was a SAHM. My becoming a doctor was no big deal - a few of my moms’s friends sons are doctors - but my mom doesn’t have any professional experience and will say things like “you should just refuse to go to work! Tell them you have to some time with your family!”  And two of her friends sent me mail (on notecards decorated with flowers) telling me I should quit my job “temporarily” in the middle of covid to take care of my dad. I’ll tell you this much, I’m sure none of their sons would ever EVER get a note like that.

Covid times have been awful for everyone, though. So I try to be understanding. But the dog comment made me lose it.[/quote]

Fellow physician mom here. OP, you can’t win. If you lean out, you get blamed for being a crappy doctor. If you lean in, you’re a crappy mom. In reading your first post, I had a sense your mother was a SAHM and has no idea of the responsibilities you carry. Focus on your immediate family and demote your mother’s significance in your life. Agree with others, she sounds toxic. In a sick and twisted way, she probably blames you for your father’s death, as in you as a doctor couldn’t help prevent his death or alleviate his suffering. She probably put her friends up to sending in the notes to you. [/quote]

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