Reply to Childhood Friend Has Recently Contacted Me After 35+ Years

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Perfectly fair to be "very busy with life" for a bit and feel her out over time, if you want. Sometimes people who are, hmm, very volatile (I am trying to avoiding specific diagnoses here) are very charming and convincing early on, but can't maintain it. That volatility and push-me-pull-you interaction often comes with a history of child abuse.

Why not see how it goes, if you have any tug to get reacquainted? Take it slow. Note whether she seems to respect boundaries or push them. Pay attention to whether she seems to pick up on any discomfort if you are feeling pushed and backs away, or if she makes you more uncomfortable.

Let it develop, if you go this route. Think old-fashioned train ride back to friendship, not jetspeed.[/quote]

C’mon, She wasn’t OPs friend, she was OPs bully.  OP does not owe this person anything, [/quote]

Uh ... never said she did? But you apparently read that into it.

I said it's fine to just be too busy to engage. Nothing wrong with that. BUT OP is asking about what to do, and she said they were laughing together, and that the person seemed "mature" now. That's wavering. That's a bit wishy-washy. My point was NOT to say she owed anything to this person (reread what you responded to, PP, instead of responding to something that isn't there), but to say that if she was pulled in that direction, to be careful. I was warning her, not encouraging her.

[quote]especially after having stolen her lunch, forced her to carry her books and threatened to have her socially ostracized. It doesn’t matter that it happened when she was a kid. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, especially when it comes to falling back into old patterns with old acquaintances.  OP, if you have a husband, children, friends, pets or assets you might want to lock them up.  Anything is fair game for a “friend” like this.  [/quote]

And if OP decides to disregard this advice, I think she should at minimum take it very, very slow. People like that can't maintain a façade forever. The spots do come back out. [/quote]

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