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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as someone who works in adolescent psych, your feelings are pretty normal at this point. You are dealing with a deeply traumatized child who is making terrible decisions (because of their trauma) and ending up even more traumatized.  The child is acting out their trauma in a lot of ways, and some of them are aimed at you.  She's not your child, so of course you're resenting it.  (Birth parents are often resentful of that kind of behavior, too, and they're often responsible for the original trauma.)

Therapy is a good idea.  It will help you process the resentment so that you can feel more at peace. It will help you brainstorm ideas how to remain safe while living in this extended family It will help you learn how and why this child (young adult) is acting out this way.  It will help you decide if you want to stay in this family/marriage.

Good luck.  These kids are rough to deal with. [/quote]

OP—thank you for your advice and I appreciate your kindness. I will seek therapy for myself and distance for now.[/quote]

OP i think the above advice is the best in thread - I think from an outside viewpoint we can have compassion for both you and SC, but you're inside this and that's hard to ddo. Clearly neither of you is in a good place. I do think looking to therapy for some coping tools and a safe place to think and talk this through is a good idea. I hope you can distance with out shunning - think space, not silent treatment.[/quote]

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