Reply to WWYD to visit ILs overseas?

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[quote=Anonymous]Can you explain why you keep separate accounts and split travel bills? That has nothing to do with visiting family, but everything to do with your relationship. Let's tackle that first.

Next: every couple I know with one person from abroad and other person American sends the foreign partner and kids to visit the relatives in the old country, and the American partner joins them on the front end or backend (at least that's what American husbands do so they can scoot back home to work; the SAHM partners seemingly tag along for the entire trip).

Let's remove the international piece for the sake of conversation. If you married a guy with family in CA, you'd still be on the hook to visit his family periodically. That's just what you do when you have family: you travel to visit them.

It sounds like your guy lost both his parents, correct? That's sad. And, he's not American, correct? Imagine living abroad and desperately wanting to maintain your cultural identity. Traveling home to visit extended family is essentially the most tangible way to do it. It's important, so it makes sense that it is a priority.

If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that I will meet him there/or stay for a portion before heading home or sightseeing. I would also explore the bigger issue of nickel and diming each other. Most couples don't do this. And, most men prefer to pick up the check. [/quote]

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