Reply to underemployed dh pushing for another baby

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "underemployed dh pushing for another baby"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have enough money for two kids.

You two need to talk to each other about what your priorities are, the kind of life style you want to live, what else if of value to you (positively contributing to society while not making bank is a legitimate value), and get on the same page about where to go. Sounds like not a lot of communication is going on. Maybe your values are too different and you divorce.[/quote]

We have enough money for Current daycare plus rent plus expenses.
We would not have enough money for second daycare and a mortgage and the other expenses of a second child and home ownership

Not going to give specifics, but we aren’t talking about Ivy League to prestigious or amazingly impactful social justice career. I’m talking t14 grad school to cushy lobbyist-type position  for the first few years of our marriage, and now taking on an independent k consulting position in something like the arts/sports/culture. No benefits, no retirement, and it’s not like he’s trying to piece together a couple of consulting gigs. It’s. Just.the. One.

We tried having dh as default parent for a little bit during beginning of pandemic when child care shut down and he was between gigs.. After a few months, where frankly, we were doing equal amounts childcare while I worked from home, he said he was “burned out” and it was time to get ds back in childcare.

[/quote]

To me this is the real issue and I can see why you are resentful, OP. He needs to pull hair weight in terms of income or household. Ideally both. Certainly "neither" is not an option.

It's not that your total HHI is "too low" for another kid since ppl do it, but it's totally unfair for the burden of earning AND caretaking to be all on you. Unless there are medical or mental health issues, I'd view this as not being an adult and really unfair to you and DC.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics