Reply to Separation/Divorce when no one will or can move

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you’d be happy to move out, do it.  Life isn’t logical. Sounds like you both like each other, the kids, and/or the house enough that nobody is happy to do anything but stay there.. which is fine.  Work on the marriage.

[b]In home separations will be terrible.  How does it work, your soon to be ex is watching tv in the den, do you just ignore them?[/b]  What happens if he’s with the kids watching something, do you just slink back to your room?  How do you handle it if a game goes into overtime, “sorry, my turn, go off to your room now and watch the rest on the ipad, and oh by the way, don’t share your joy or disappointment with me, tell the kids, but you’ll have to do it when I’m not around”.

What about food you all enjoy as a family?  If you all like cake and you buy it for “you and the kids” because you know tomorrow will be rainy and cake for breakfast always makes the day brighter, do you toss out half of a pretty nice cake just to keep the other spouse from enjoying some?  
If he leaves his clothes in the washer, do you let them literally rot so you aren’t “doing his laundry?”

It gets to the level of absurdity, op.

Parenting time won’t be followed, why would it be when you are “literally home with the kids”?

How will you handle home repairs?  Our furnace broke, and while we could have “kept it going it was just a matter of time before it bit the big one.  We decided to get a new one because we care about each other’s comfort.  If I had planned to “move out eventually” I’d not have given a rat’s behind about the furnace. Why would I when I wouldn’t be there to enjoy a nice warm house?

As for a lawyer, find one who will answer youru questions. A lawyer telling you to “come to an agreement” is like a caterer that tells you “go to the grocery store, buy the food, then cook the food, then have your husband cook the rest of the food, and oh my fee for this advice is $500”.

Not all lawyers are good or even helpful to your situation.  If you truly are “happy to move out” then find a lawyer that can tell you how to do it given your state laws.  My guess is you dont want to move, so you haven’t found the person who can make that happen for you.

Posters are right, you can’t force someone with a legal right to the property to move just because you don’t like them.. which is essentially all a divorce is.   
[/quote]

Have you done an in-home separation? If not, you don't know what you are talking about it. I did. It was fine. We lived that way for YEARS. You don't need to say it is awful when you really have no idea how a couple interacts and if they can or can not do it. And to your question, yes, we just ignored each other and stayed in different parts of the house...our marriage was like that and so was our separation. We always ate separately and did not do any social events for many years. He did nothing until kids were school age. And then we did everythign separately with kids. Just like an in-home separation. It is really not that hard. If you want a divorce, it's not hard. So no need to comment on it so negatively. It is a good way to figure out permanent housing when going through a divorce. It is as hard as the couple wants to make it.[/quote]

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