Reply to Unreadable/Odd Behavior from Friend

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[quote=Anonymous]I would check with DD to see whether the imbalance bothers her. If she is not bothered by lack of reciprocity, and feels valued and supported by this friend in other ways, then I would let it drop.

However, if your DD feels devalued, excluded or disrespected in the long haul bestie relationship, then I would try and talk to the friend’s mother. Maybe ask to meet up somewhere neutral - outside coffee shop or whatever, and start with open ended questions … “our daughters have been besties for a very long time. Do you see mutual growth in their friendship?” The. Gradually moving into more pointed territory “I hope that this does not offend you in any way, and that you can appreciate I am coming from a place of genuine concern. My DD really values your DDs friendship. I doubt you are consciously aware of it, but sometimes my DD feels the relationship is rather unequal. For example, we host your daughter frequently, while you rarely invite her anywhere. Is there a back ground reason for that? I really want my DD to be a good friend but also to be treated well in her closest friendships. Please help me to understand this perceived inequality from your perspective.”

Best wishes. Long friendships are worth more than gold - but only if they serve each other well.[/quote]

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