Reply to Stepmoms: were you the AP who broke up the marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m the kid too. My dad cheated on my mom when I was 5. I have two younger siblings. The other woman was a hotel employee my dad met on a work trip. When my mom found out she gave him a chance to end it and to try to save our family but he wouldn’t do it. She was younger and he was “in love!” He’s still married to the woman and they adopted a couple kids who are in high school now.

My mom was always (and is still, though less so because I’m an adult now) amazing when it came to talking about my father. We knew what happened and learned more as we grew up but no matter, my mom always did her best to encourage us to have a relationship with our dad.

Basically, I’ve realized that my dad is a nice guy - he’s just a big kid and a screw up. I love him but don’t think of him like a parent the way I do my mom. The AP to whom he’s still married is a shit head. I wouldn’t allow her to attend my wedding and yes, I know my dad was 50% of the affair and therefore deserves 50% of the blame. For some reason, it just doesn’t work like that. It’s more complicated.

Op - fwiw, I’m now a happily married mom of 3 myself. When my husband and I went through our own rough patch (no third parties though in our case), my mom was the one who encouraged us to do everything we could to save what we’d built. She’s incredible and I couldn’t imagine life had my dad remained a part of it the whole time. My mom (and myself and my siblings) may not have ended up where we are today and I don’t think any of us would change anything.

So so sorry you’re going through this. Hugs. And btw, if your ex is like my dad, he’ll wake up eventually and realize that he’s missed out on so much of the day to day…he’ll regret it. [/quote]

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