Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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Reply to "SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?"

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[quote=Anonymous]you say your youngest is 10 -- how old are the others? Kids have a lot more activities as they get older -- more intensive ones too. Unless all the kids are driving and you have ample cars to provide for them all...you might find you are busier with a couple of teens and a 10 year old, or two teens eventually or whatever mix you have, than you were with young children, OP. My DH was very happy for me to stay home and get increasingly involve in volunteering at every school; at activities (which became very busy as kids get older--more hours per week, more intensity, more events/performances/games); in scouting, as a troop leader and summer camp volunteer staffer; with an organization that does academic competitions; and so on. If you are the kind of person who likes to get involved and help out with things, and you want to volunteer and help with these types of things, you will find it can be busy (and fulfilling).

You might want to talk with your DH about whether he has an expectation based on...what exactly? It would help you both to articulate where he's coming from and his reasoning:

Did his own mom work outside the home once he was a certain age, so that's what he considers normal and right?
Was he raised in a family where money was tight so he worries about that even if there's technically "enough" money? 
Is he concerned about paying for college? That's a pretty legit concern to be honest; college is increasingly expensive, but have you been saving all along?
Is he concerned about his and your retirement as well as college? Again, legit, but what is the current plan you have in place?
Does he just not "get" the tasks you do already? Would he be OK with your staying home if he realizes it facilitates the kids' academics, activities, and the overall household management?

Same goes for you, OP. Why do you feel you want to stay home? Do you plan to go back to a job, just later? Are you in a field where you can return to your previous career, or would paid work later on mean doing something different?

If you and DH communicate your expectations more, and how you reached those expectations, it could help. 
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