Reply to Would you be okay with your wife visiting her male best friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is friend in a relationship? Is wife staying with friend? Is there other stuff to do in the area and friend will play your guide? Did wife want you to come but you can’t?

Or is this a single guy best friend hosting your wife in the middle of nowhere for a week and you aren’t allowed to come?[/quote]

Friend is single. I can't come because I can't get the time of because we're going on a trip later this year. They have been friends since childhood, as far as I know they have never dated. To my knowledge, he is not gay.[/quote]

It sounds like you’re OK with it so why the post? [/quote]

I'm not okay with it, it strikes me as odd, which is why I'm posting.[/quote]

New poster. Why does it "strike you as odd" now, since she's known him since childhood, they haven't dated, and she's bringing a toddler with her? Do you not know him yourself well?

OP, is it really your own feeling that it's odd, or has someone else mentioned to you that it's odd? Is it possible you're letting the opinions of others, who have nothing to do with you, DW, your marriage or the friend, get to you? Is someone (or just your own, dare I say it, social conditioning that makes people say "No way can spouse of one gender see person of the opposite gender alone ever") getting in your way here? If you have zero reason to doubt your wife's fidelity, why get bothered now?

Ask yourself if this is really about her and him or if it's actually about how you think [i]other people[/i] will perceive it if they knew she was going on this trip.

My DH has a couple of close female friends of very, very long standing. One is widow, the other lives with a BF but he travels a lot. I know them well and we've seen them on family trips many times. If DH were visiting his relatives who are near where they are, I would have zero hesitation about his going to see either of them and staying at their houses. DCUM will have its collective coronary at that idea but I don't care. The fact you're crowdsourcing this isn't good, OP. Do you have some other reason, not related to this guy, to not trust your wife? If not, do you have some reason not to trust the guy (and "he's male" is not a reason)? If the answer to both is no, then maybe you're letting other people or "what society says about mixed-gender 'sleepovers'" get inside your head. Could that be the case? [/quote]

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