Reply to DD’s friend inappropriate TikTok dances…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We monitor our 11 year old’s DD’s TikTok account - [b]yes, I’m that mom[/b]d but started after she was watching insane diet tips… and for others who may point out, yes the recommended age is 13 for TikTok - but nearly all the kids have it.

Anyway, many of the dances the kids do and the music is mildly inappropriate - but 11 year olds wiggling their butts and knowing some curse words. It’s disturbing to watch at some level but mostly whatever and kids just dancing around. And the kids accounts are nearly all private so visible only among their friend groups.

But one of the latest trends seems to be lowering yourself down to a deep squat and the opening and closing your legs …   And one of the girls has posted this. And it is just so inappropriate and soft porn looking. Do I tell the mom?

[/quote]

Yes you are that mom.  The one who thinks parenting is keeping up with what you [i]think[/i] every other kid or family has or does, instead of just parenting your own kid correctly.  And now you want to tell another parent that the dance their DD is doing is inappropriate.  If you have a problem, talk to your child or better yet, get her off the social media that isn’t appropriate for her and for which you already indicate you’re having problems(ala dieting tips and inappropriate dancing).[/quote]

Why so judgey? Not OP but it was a valid question. None of us had social media when we were young and don’t really know what we are doing. I sure don’t and am figuring stuff out on the fly. There are no rule books for how to navigate this stuff “correctly”. Since the pandemic, social media has exploded and a lot of old limits went out the window as their entire social lives were experienced online.

Why shut down other moms who are trying to talk honestly about how to deal with the weird and uncomfortable issues that come up in social media?

As some have already pointed out, the kids know how to create new accounts even when you shut down their old ones. I did that when my kid was 10 and 11 and found out later she had created several new ones. It has taken several years, experimenting with different forms of discipline, and many many conversations (often more like shouting matches) to get her to understand how scared we were for her online safety. I see all her Tik Toks now before she posts them.  I am actually often alarmed for her peers’ online safety (some of what they get up to is horrifying) but I don’t know the parents well enough to discuss with them..

I actually think this is a great ethical discussion .. how much do we owe to our kids’ friends’ parents? What are the risks of letting them know that their little angels are not behaving well online? What are the risks of not telling them?

Thanks for asking this tricky Q, OP![/quote]

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