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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died unexpectedly a few months ago, and I too am dealing with the challenge of parenting, holding down a full-time job, handling post-death administration, and being with grief. Here are a few things that are getting me through:

- Take care of the "closest alligator to the boat". The things that are most pressing in time/importance come first.
- Lean on friends/family/network for support. They can cook, shop, help with kids, run errands. If you have them or if they offered, do reach out. If you don't have support, take a deep breath. You will get through this.
- Take care of yourself as much as possible so you can be there for yourself and your kids. Reach out to a grief support system that works for you (whether it is a group, a therapist, a friend who has gone through grief). When you get to the point when you can sleep, get as much sleep as possible (I still take melatonin to fall asleep). Hydrate, eat well and exercise. Walking in nature has been very helpful for me. I had a meditation practice for several years, and it served me well when he died. In times of crisis, we fall on our practice.
- Honestly, what keeps me going is being there for my children. The moment he died, my entire focus shifted to that, and it is my north star. It motivates me to care for myself and give them as meaningful of a life as possible without their father. It is devastating, but we find joy, laughter and connection. 
- Allow yourself to honor your grief and be with it. I cry a lot, and then it's over and I can deal with the next alligator. I tend to time-manage my grief to the best of my ability, because if I sit with it for too long, I will inevitably spin out in emotions, and I have learned that it doesn't serve me well. So I will schedule in time to look at pictures, texts, clothes or simply just remember him. When I feel angry, I take my aggression out on organizing closets or going full capacity on the Peloton. They can take it, and it serves me well in the long run. Sometimes I just call my mom or a dear friend and sob on the phone with no conversation. Finding how you are with grief will take time and will unexpectedly shape shift. There is no controlling the timing of a memory, so I give myself grace, and others will too.

My heart is with you. Know that by this mere connection, you are closely held. [/quote]

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