Reply to Vent: Pregnant and realizing H is a twit.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I ended up leaving for the night.

Honestly this feels like just one more thing in a long history of behavior showing he doesn’t really want marriage/kids/even a committed relationship. He says he does, but then makes it clear he still wants his independence, and it never feels like a real partnership. Like the dinner example, he stopped cooking for me and thinks we should just handle our own dinner separately. Or if he’s going out of town for a week and I can mention that I’d like to spend our last evening together, but he’ll start packing late in the day and take hours, so by the time he’s done it’s way past my bedtime. Which I don’t understand, I would have thought a guy would jump at the chance for sex before leaving.

I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

So this just feels like the straw that broke the camel’s back, it’s clear he just wants to live his life with me on the side as a convenience. [/quote]

Maybe he got tired of you complaining about  what he made for dinner?

And I don't know you could have stayed up past your bedtime?  You do realize once you have a baby your strict bedtime won't be ab;e to be observed anymore right? You go on about him being inflexible, but you've got your own stuff.

That is if you aren't making this all up,  which I have to say your last post sniffs like BS.[/quote]

I’ve never complained, I’m always appreciative. He just has excuses like “I don’t know what you like”. I’m not picky or anything.

I do stay up late for him. I prefer to be in bed by 9 but will stay up to 11-12. I’m not staying up until 2am, which is what he prefers. [b]I can’t function on 4 hours of sleep.[/b] Plus, it would be nice if he returned the favor and worked with my schedule once in awhile. [/quote]

Being a mom is going to be hard for you especially since you've decided you want to divorce your husband and be a single mom. Having someone whose cool with being at 2 am comes in real hndy with a newborn.[/quote]

Well. Perhaps I’m crazy, but I see a big difference between a newborn who literally needs me to wake up to survive, and a grown adult who thinks puttering around listening to podcasts all day and night is more important than spending time with his wife.

I’m sorry, but if it currently takes him 12+ hours to clean a 2 bedroom apartment, where one bedroom and bathroom aren’t even used, how the hell is he going to find time to care for a child? More than likely I’ll be doing all the childcare anyway while he’s off smoking weed and playing on his phone. [/quote]

I can see why he doesn't want to spend time with you.  Would you want to spend time with someone who mocked your interests?    Despite what you want to believe you are not blameless here.  You both have some work to do if you want this marriage to last. And since you both chose to get pregnant I think you both have an obligation to try to make it work. This means both of you have to give up the childishness of things needing to be your way all the time. For you speciically it sounds like you need to develop some interests away from your husband.[/quote]

Oh stop. I don’t mock his interests. And I have my own interests, if he had just said he wanted to do his thing all day, I would have left and done my own thing. But instead we make plans, and then he just does whatever TF he wants.

Same thing happened last weekend. We planned to go out for dinner, and I specifically said to him I wanted to leave before 8. I had to work late, and when I got home around 730, he said he wanted to shower first. And of course it takes him an hour to get ready, so it was close to 9 by the time we got there. I asked what he had been doing the two hours he was home alone and why he couldn’t have gotten ready then, and he didn’t have an answer.

I just don’t get why he makes these plans with me, then does whatever he can to derail them. If he doesn’t want to spend time with me, just say so and I’ll find people who do. [/quote]

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