Reply to If you found out your spouse was cheating by snooping…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was the kidder above. 
More seriously:

This is all about trust.  Trust and how to earn it back.
She cheated. Can you trust her again? How can she earn back your trust? Lying a second time is a bad bad thing that makes it worse.

She will need to trust you again too. This is a much smaller deal but it does exist if you will ever get back to a functional relationship again.  You snooped on her life. Frankly, she had it coming. She lied. If she wants to be able to hide things from you again, you both need to agree on what those things might be and if you both can trust each other about them.[/quote]

If she doesn’t tell you everything and then a year from now you find out more incriminating acts she kept secret, man, it sets the timetable for recovery and trust back to zero.  Death by a thousand paper cuts, this piecemeal reveal.

She needs to provide a timeline and facts, overnights, when and how they meet, etc.  You need to know the means she used to conceal it—-was it internet messaging, was it in your home, when/what days times would they meet, etc.[/quote]

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