Reply to Calling all nice people - what to do about the mean people on DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
No, people were challenging the very premise of your very bad idea and you went crying to Jeff because you couldn't handle it, and, yes, he responded, but he's catching grief for it on the feedback page now because what he did, really, was stifle a legitimate discussion to appease your own delicate sensibilities. I understand Jeff's reason for doing it, although I disagree with it and believe he hurt the site's credibility to some degree. Those weren't snarky responses. Those were bonafide objections to the idea that you were trying to get custody of someone else's children. [/quote]

I think you people criticizing really missed the point.  The OP was being kind and conscientious in researching a possible option to offer to the mother.  All of your objections should appropriately be directed to the mother to advise her against taking such an offer.  But the OP was trying to offer the mother an option.  While you have decent reasons for recommending that the mother not take up this option, suggesting that the OP not even offer was not a good recommendation.  A person in distress from a traumatic, abusive relationship needs to have options available for digging themselves out.  One of the things that contributes to despair, depression and sometimes tragic gestures is when someone feels they have no options. Sometimes even just knowing that there is a caring family that the kids know and like that would be willing to take them if the mother needed it, can give her the strength to carry on.  But telling the OP to deprive the mother of even having an option of placing the children in a caring temporary home is heartless and cruel and distinctly unhelpful.

I think Jeff did the right thing to try to steer the thread back to the point.

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