Reply to Did your spouse ever emotionally or verbally abuse you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are experiencing passive-aggressive BS.[/quote]

At a minimum.

Yes this stonewalling and avoiding real verbal communication with your wife is a pattern and serious issue.  With such a big topic it is doubly serious. 
Your gut is right. He is leading you on— doesn’t matter why (passive aggressive, clueless, misogynist, narcissist, mental disorder, etc.), this will likely get worse and worse. Especially with a child.

Is he able to discuss and talk about anything? Or does he throw a mini temper tantrum, walk off, never circle back, never resolve anything?

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OMG - ALL of this. OP, please. I had a child with a man like this, but it was during a time where he got "better" or so it seemed. He didnt. Once our daughter was here, he was a FANTASTIC dad to her for exactly 4 years,  meanwhile I was thinking now THIS is the guy I married. I wasnt wrong! I was wrong. The moment she got old enough to challenge him (5) and by challenge I mean exhibiting normal childhood behaviors, he lost his s***.   He began treating me horribly and eventually her horribly (at random times) When he charged at me in front of her that was IT.

I divorced him, he gave me custody of her, since the difficulty of parenting was something he was NEVER into. I am remarried, and now she is 14 and she is still putting the pieces back together.

I have no regrets that I had her. And it would have been sad not to. BUT, had I a crystal ball LIKE YOU ARE BEING GIVEN HERE TODAY, maybe just maybe I would have reconsidered.

BUT, I know full well I was not willing to accept that I already knew there was something wrong with him. He was diagnosed with NPD and as you can imagine that didnt go over well with him and he refused all help. He also has other issues.
BUt it all began with crap like what you described.

Emotional and verbal abuse is a sign of something BAD and also what you need to hear is : THE REASONS FOR THE ABUSE DONT MATTER. I made the mistake thinking he wanted to get better because he said so. He was dx'd with depression and anxiety as well, and ADHD, and tried medication and was MAD that it WORKED. In fact, that is when he really went downhill and became more narcissistic, leading to the diagnosis.

By accepting his behavior on the assumption that it is temporary, and thinking it will pass under other circumstances, you are setting yourself up for a life of torment and suffering.

Divorcing him wont be easy either. But trust me, if you cant handle it now when you ahve a kid with him you dont even want to know how terrible it will be to try to divroce then.

"NO DINNER FOR YOU" Punishing authortitative behavior. Wait till he does that to your 5 year old. Ask me how I know he will.

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